HAVE YOU SEEN ME?
LOST: Shadow, 5 feet 11 inches tall. Also dark AND handsome. Warning: Shadow is a self-centered asshole known to cheat on his girlfriends (including multiple CONCURRENT girlfriends at various points in his fun-filled life), he lies constantly and consistently about things large and small, he steals from every store he has ever “shopped” in. He wastes resources and consumes excessively despite saying that he LOVES nature (he also loves piña coladas and getting caught in the rain, if you’re not into yoga, if you have half a brain). If found please DO NOT CALL (555) 867-5309, 867-5309, Jenny don’t change your number, I need to make you mine. Anyway, having said that, I’m done with that asshole shadow. You deal with it. Amen.